On my first (first author) paper
- Soham Sinha
- Sep 24, 2020
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 29, 2020
Here is my first author paper link - It got published in PLoS ONE, an open-access journal!
Here are some articles about it (from Science Magazine and Georgia Tech)
3 years ago in my first week as a freshman at Georgia Tech, I sat down for the first time in Dr. Saad Bhamla's office. I was coming off a series of rejections from other professors whom I wanted to do research - reasons varied such as no experience, first-year, already have people, not enough space, not enough knowledge.
I had requested a small talk with Saad to get a research position, and I was honestly bracing myself to be kicked out of his office as well. Imagine my surprise when he shakes my hand and says welcome to my lab!
He starts talking about his ideas and he immediately onboards me as the lab's first student - saying this is going to be a fun little project that's going to take a semester to finish. "Little" - How ironic.
I think that really sums up my research experience with this project. We went through so many prototypes of the hearing aid, failing and failing and failing for 2 years and 9 months. We came close to giving up multiple times. We would sit down at the start of every semester, and hash out a plan for where we wanted our prototype to be, and at the end of the semester, we would be going back frustrated that our prototype had failed once again.
When Saad had first introduced me to the idea that "Hey, let's build a hearing aid for less than a dollar." I thought he was nuts - there's no way that you can make a 3000 dollar device worth less than a dollar. However, the sheer challenge was what got me interested (as well as my own history of breaking my very very expensive hearing aids). Furthermore, the noble cause behind this paper - we wanted to bring hearing to the masses, something appealed to my heart as well.
That initial excitement quickly gave way to frustration, and then finally from frustration to hatred to mania.
It was the end of the 2nd year on my project when it started to really wear me down. The project was going nowhere, and we kept having to start from square 1 because our prototype did not fit a particular specification. I remember that it was eating me up inside - my entire undergraduate experience was defined by this stupid project, my grad school application rested upon me completing this. I could feel the frustration had boiled over, and I had started to hate it. I hated that I was stuck with such a fucking ridiculous problem. I hated that others in the lab were getting their papers in or were starting even more fun and interesting projects, I hated that Saad kept me on this project, and stripped away my roles in other projects.
Finally, and out of nowhere halfway through our 3rd year, just like how Saad accepted me into his lab, everything clicked into place, and the prototypes worked to our specifications. Just the week before we got results on our prototypes working, Saad and I were discussing that this would be the last time we would sink any more time into this project - the funds would be better managed elsewhere. We were ready to give up for the final time. At that moment, if there ever was a God or an angel, it had spoken and granted us our working prototype.
The last 3-4 months of the project before we submitted was a flurry of activity of creating graphs, writing multiple drafts, figures, etc.
But you may be thinking
Was I happy?
No, I was not happy - the hatred had turned into mania. With grad-school application deadline looming ahead, I knew in my head that I had to get this ready. I couldn't sleep until the drafts were finished and I had Saad's comments, I couldn't think about my classes (in one of the most work heavy semesters that I had ever taken), and I couldn't hear (ironically) that my own body was telling me to stop and take a step back and recharge.
When we finally submitted in February, and went through the rounds of review in the summer, I was burnt out - I didn't even want to see the paper, I didn't even want to think about it.
So when the paper finally got published today after 3 years, I saw the paper, and I thought to myself
Am I happy now?
The truth is no, I am not happy, but I am bloody relieved. I no longer have to think about this demon.
Am I proud of what I did?
Hell yes.
There's one thing I picked up along this journey. Happiness doesn't come from seeing the end or from the work itself, it comes from the various interactions that I had with people along the way (from Saad, to our co-author Dr. Vinay, to my friend Urvaksh), the many late nights in the lab of me and my other lab mate coming up with creative insults about Saad and our projects.
As I start my PhD now, I will try to bear that in mind. I am excited about my potential work, and yes, I am very sure that I will go through all of these phases again. However, what I do know and will try to do differently is not to seek happiness in my PhD work, but rather find it amongst the many friends and people who I will be working with.
After all, I think I developed a pretty good marker on progress in something - if I am really enjoying my work and thinking this is fun, I have barely started.
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